I do not believe that your feelings are wrong. I was there.

Back in the days before text messaging, we had to speak to one another. I was so in love with him and so overwhelmed by the divorce. I finally quit the begging, but continued to call daily with that "breezy" tone. He never refused to talk to me, but it was in the voice: he was so over me. I was a rejection junky.

Finally a friend who prayed with came clean, and I will never forget her brilliant analogy.

When you lose a tooth, you keep poking the crater with your tongue. It hurts every day for a long time and you inflame the gum. You go rooting to experience the pain over and over. When you finally control yourself and stop poke, poke, poking, the gum heals quickly and without much effort on your part.

This helped me so much and I hope it can help you. Many years later, if I go rooting around I can access the memory of pain, which is just plain dumb. There is no animosity between us, but we were not able to remain friends.

I do have love and kindness in my life, which I almost didn't have because I wasn't moving on.

Only well wishes here.