Hello Sophia: I've been reading through your posts, including this one, of course. By the way, we have a Transgender Forum. That would be a good place to post future Threads related to gender identity or sexual orientation.

I'll just mention that I'm an older male who has been transgendered (MtF- transsexual) all of my life. I won't go into detail about this. I have quite a few posts in the Transgender Forum you can read if you want to know more about me.

I take it, from reading your posts, that you are struggling with depression & anxiety & that you are cutting. You're not receiving any therapy, & you're not on any medications because your family is struggling (financially I presume.)

First, I wanted to ask a rhetorical question (one you don't need to answer.) You write, in your post, you just "found out" you're bisexual. The question that comes into my mind when I read that is: how did you find out? I guess, for me, since I've been struggling with being trans my entire life, it is difficult for me to form an image in my mind of how that would happen. Here again, I'm not asking you to answer this question on PC. But I think it may be instructive for you to think about it yourself. Do you simply find yourself physically attracted to women as well as men? Did you have an unexpected liaison with another person of your sex? Is your sexual orientation something you've been thinking about; & you've concluded that you're bi-sexual?

You know, however it was you came to this conclusion, the word "bisexual" is just a label. It's an artificial construct that people have come up with to identify a certain variety of sexual orientation. In other words, it's a pigeonhole. And, like all pigeonholes, it creates as much mischief as it does clarification.

Gender Identity & sexual orientation are both fluid. There is a magnificent rainbow of different resting points within that rainbow. And, by the way, however it was that you concluded you're bisexual, doesn't necessarily make it so. Many, many young people (& even older people) experiment with different kinds of sexual relations. The fact that you might have had one experience that suggests you may be bisexual, or may have one at some point, doesn't mean that you need to be stamped with an indelible label. You're a young person who is just beginning to explore the world of human sexuality. It can be a difficult time under the best of circumstances. So treat yourself gently.

Of course, as you clearly already understand, not everyone you'll meet will be open to the idea of your identifying yourself as bisexual. There are, unfortunately, many bigots out there & one does have to be careful. On the other hand, not speaking your truth can be just as damaging or more so. So one just has to pick one's "fights", so to speak. It was wonderful you were able to share with your friend & that your friend was accepting. And, you're correct, some people may not accept your coming out as bisexual; & you may lose them as friends. But you will also gain other friends & these will be your REAL friends. There's no hurry about any of this.

If, as you go along, you continue to feel comfortable identifying as bisexual, just share this a bit at a time with other people you trust... no hurry... Perhaps also do some reading regarding bisexuality, talk with other PC'ers here who identify as bisexual, perhaps watch some videos on YouTube related to the concept of bisexuality (although do be careful here; not all of the vid's on YouTube are going to have a positive perspective.) It is possible, over time, you may conclude you're not comfortable with this label. You may find another label you prefer... or perhaps you'll prefer no label at all. (Labels can be useful in some ways, but no one is required to have one.) As I said, there are many resting points along the sexual orientation rainbow.

I did also just want to touch briefly on your depression, anxiety & cutting. I would really encourage you to try to find some therapy services. I don't know where you live, of course, but I would check to see if there aren't some free youth services available, or at least services that are provided on a sliding-fee scale, based on the family's income. You're clearly struggling with a number of difficult problems & it's SO HARD to deal with these alone. I know. I did it for years & years.

Certainly continue to post here on PC. Writing can help. I would also like to suggest you check out Kati Morton's website. Your Mental Health social network Kati is a young California therapist. She has a special interest in self-harm issues. She's energetic, enthusiastic & anxious to help. Of course, she's not a substitute for a real-life therapist. But, in the absence of one, she can be of great comfort. BTW, she's also on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter & other social networks.

Anyway, I hope that something I've written here will be of some small value to you. I wish you the very best. And keep in mind that now well-known saying: "It gets better."