Thank you so much for this thread and links, glok.

Normally I don't express any anger, I turn it all inward, taking it out on myself through destructive actions (drugs and alcohol as a teen, SI and an ED as an adult).

I am awful at expressing anger, and really struggle with it. I am starting to understand that anger doesn't necessarily lead to violence or horrible stuff (which is what I witnessed in my childhood).

It is very difficult.