We have some pretty good vegetarian meat substitutes here. There's one I really like that's made by President's Choice. It's Italian-seasoned, made from soy and is the consistency of ground beef. It's delicious in chili or pasta sauce. President's Choice also makes decent soy deli slices for sandwiches. I can't tell the difference between them and meat when they're on a nice bread with cheese and mustard.

I have tasted some HORRENDOUS meat substitutes, though.

I'm like you, Maven, I don't like handling raw meat -- especially chicken. I find it very yucky and slimy. I'm also paranoid about the bacteria and spend SO much time washing my hands and cleaning the counter and cutting board, and everything that the chicken has touched. I've started buying the cooked frozen ones because they're much easier and cause me a lot less stress. I eat a lot of fish, but I've never cooked it myself. LOL. I wouldn't know how and I wouldn't want my whole flat smelling fishy. I always get it from a restaurant. Have I mentioned before that I'm very lazy?

P.S. Hope you enjoyed the tater chips Maven. Mmmmm.