Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpiosis37
In your explanation about going to an intimate gathering alone, you say that you and your T shouldn't be "forced" to go alone if you have no one else to go with. Do you feel lonely at these gatherings because you don't have anyone to go with? If that's the case, the gathering might be a good way for you to meet some new people. A T can never be a friend. If you want more friends in your life to spend time with, trying to meet new people at places where you have common interests can be great. An intimate gathering might be a great place for you to meet new people and make some new friends.
When you assume, though, that a T would also feel "forced" to go alone, you are projecting your feelings onto her. If a T is at that kind of event alone, she might be there alone because she WANTS to be alone. Therefore, if you try to hang out with her, you may be invading her private space and her alone time. Alternatively, she may be there looking to make new friends with whom she can have reciprocal, real-life relationships. A client can never be that person. If T spends her time with you, she could be losing out on the opportunity to make new friends who could support her and be her friends on a regular basis. Can you see how a T might feel differently than you do about this kind of encounter? Since you cannot change people's internal boundaries, do you understand that you just have to accept them even if you don't like them?
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What I was trying to say is that the Therapist may want someone to go to the gathering with but don't have anyone else they know who wants to go because they may not engage in that particular lifestyle, I am not for a second trying to say that they want to go alone, so if that person who also wants to go ends up being a client than so be it, it is not a boundary crossing for them to go together in itself (the only problem is that you are likely to encounter things that are boundary crossing along the way that you need to make sure you stay away from), a Therapist may understand that given the gathering at hand that they can put aside their role as Therapist for the duration of the gathering. Also these gatherings are not really about making friends per say (in fact at a gathering that I would love to go to in the future we already consider everyone who is there part of our "family") but really about connecting with people just for the duration of the event and maybe never seeing them again or not seeing them until the gathering the following year, and as I have stated many times before a "connection circle" that only exists at the gathering can include your client (or really not your client at the gathering).