I have NO idea why the evenings are better for me. I'm usually alone in the evenings, and being alone during the day on weekends bothers me a lot. It seems like it's a chemical thing... no matter what is going on in my life, my mood improves the longer I'm awake. I think that's a big part of why I find it so hard to go to bed. I know I'll wake up feeling like crap and have to start all over again.

If I take a nap during the day, I feel miserable -- irritable, sad, etc. when I wake up. My dad is exactly the same way, always has been -- feels better the longer he's awake. Is there some sort of misery chemical that gets released while we're sleeping and it takes all day to get out of our system? I dunno. It's strange. I can wake up from a happy dream and feel pretty good for a few minutes, but as soon as I'm fully awake, the crappy feeling smacks me in the face.

The odd thing is, while I was sick for 4 years, my body seemed to go into my "natural" sleep pattern -- because I didn't have any time-related obligations. I would sleep from 4AM until noon... and I didn't get depressed during that whole time. I wasn't happy that I was sick and that my life was a mess, but I wasn't DEPRESSED. All of my feelings made sense and I felt quite good -- apart from the BPPV and agoraphobia. My mood was pretty good and stable. Once I get back on the waking up at 7AM schedule, though, I feel like crap most of the day.