Thanks... I like your rule about not talking about it. I'm glad to hear that other people do "get it". I agree, when you show your cards, it's like you've given them even more power.

I haven't done any DBT training...but will start with a counselor soon.

I'd just like to try and talk as little as possible, and let them know that I won't ignore them, exactly, but I won't let them get a rise out of me, either. I'm trying to make our encounters as boring as possible, unmemorable, forgettable. I can act naive, but have had too many negative reactions (not so much from these 2, just in general), so gave it up... The hardest thing for me to deal with is comments or actions that just are just so rude, that they can't be ignored.
There have been a few times with "X" that I've been able to get rid of him by just sitting at my desk, and letting him know that I was too busy to talk at the moment.

I eat my lunch at my desk, and I can see and hear when customers come in, so it isn't an issue.