I can relate to the OP. I was also really shy when I graduated from high school. I worked out quite a bit, but then got teased for my large pecs.
Years later, I decided to join the navy reserves.... I hated it. it was 8 years of almost constant misery.
I wish now I could have just been myself, instead of trying to be the "tough guy" I thought I had to be.

I love to read, I love to research topics I think are interesting. I'd love to be able to write articles and books and papers. I love to do tedious technical jobs that everyone else probably thinks is boring. I love the fact that I have arcane knowledge about subjects I enjoy.

I'd love to start working out again, though. I'm getting a little pudgy... It would be fun to get some exercise and get this body back in shape.