I lost a friendship. A fourteen year friendship. I have posted about this person before. When I first got my dx she was very supportive. But since then she has become more and more clinical and critical and judgemental and in the last year or so has not been a good friend at all. I have posted about her before on here. She flipped out on me on one of my most severely depressed suicidal days ever and then did not apologize for months and then only with a ton of effort from me. She told me she has no hope for me with the Bipolar. Much much later she was able to admit that she shouldn't have said that to me. I'm glad she realized that but I'm still hurt she even thought it. It is really a huge long thing with so many stories and crevices but this is the nutshell. This has been a good friendship in the past. Maybe it will be again someday in the future but right now it is not healthy for me.

She has a relationship to my Bipolar that has nothing to do with reality. Not the reality of my Bipolar nor the reality of Bipolar in general. And she thinks she is like the Bipolar expert just because she is a social worker. But um she does not work in mental health so......

I had been trying to hold on to the relationship in a surface kind of way but I slipped up and have her a try in the emotional support arena and she failed me spectacularly. And that one tiny little event which was no big deal compared to all of these others just snapped the thread that was my connection to her. I have no motivation to engage with her now. It is all gone. It just vanished. And surprise surprise she is not coming to me asking what is wrong or apologizing. She just let me go.....

That was almost two months ago. I have felt good about it. Freed in a way. But now the emotions are creeping up on me. I feel some rejection that she would just let me go so easily. I wish I mattered more to her. I feel confused about what she could be thinking. And I feel a lot of sorrow and grief that this old friendship is basically over.

I'm just sad. I don't really know how to process this anymore. I just feel sad and rejected. I know I need to work towards letting it all go. I am better off without it. It is just hard.

Do you have a story? Advice? Brilliant Bipolar insight?