I have a story. I can relate. I had a "best friend" for 34 years. We shared a lifetime together. Like you, I had a bad suicidal episode and she stayed with me for 9 days because I refused hospitalization and I wasn't safe. I ended up in the hospital anyway, about 2 months later.

The last text I got from her was July 4, 2013. I have text her over and over again begging to know what the problem was but she would never reply. She's still around. She visits a mutual friend of ours. Which is very painful for me.

I was devastated for a very long time and it still plays in my head most days. Because there has never been any kind of explanation I can only assume. And I assume it has to do with the craziness of BP and she just couldn't take it anymore but that doesn't excuse her not giving me something.

I look at it this way. How good of a friend was she in the first place to just cut off all ties. And, some people come into your life for a reason. Sometimes it's a lesson to be learned. Maybe our time was up and we are just moving on.

These reasons don't make me feel much better about it all but I've done everything possible to connect with her but she wont respond. There's nothing more I can do

I need to let this go but I don't know how to. 34 years is a very long time to just try and let it go.

I guess in time it will get easier. I've asked this mutual friend not to tell me when they've had a visit because it's hurtful and ruins my day.

The saddest part of all this, is that I've been more stable now than I have been in the past and she can't even see it. Maybe if she did, things would be different.

Sorry I have no advice but if you get some, please share.