...living involves many satisfying spaces and these spaces are luckily available to be filled with life!

how can my personal death compete with something so wonderful...

why was I ever allowed to recognise how suffering might be otherwise...

dangerous if not treated with much care!

...to live or die is my permanent atrocity...

something way too hard!

even for me who has been untouchable..

so I believe...unfortunately...

I just know I deserve that bipolar exit...

that ability to prove that my mental mis-adventures mean everything I ever did....

and the obscure realisation that myself is beyond help?..

I don't want to arrive at where I left...

...I better become much more sudden than when I forgot myself!

trust and distrust is an empty view of this feeling...

this feeling is the only one I have