It seems to me that at some point lying was a way of protecting yourself. Wanting and needing attention is not inherently bad. We need attention. However we can learn unhealthy ways of getting it. You've taken the first step in admitting it to yourself. Now by admitting it to your t you can start to learn healthy ways of getting that human interaction that you need. Therapy hasn't been a complete waste of time, you've made this discovery about yourself. That's something.

Food for thought - I've heard it said the difference between guilt and shame is that guilt is feeling bad about what we've done while shame is feeling bad about who we are. You've made some mistakes, some big ones, but everyone has. Talk to your t. If she reacts badly then find one who can see that you're hurting and need help to change into the person you want to be.