Its likely the new meds in your body are making you feel different, not exactly worse. Give them time, I know for me my Zoloft took about three weeks. But Risperdal took about two days and I felt better. Some just take longer than others.

I feel like a burden to other too, or that I'm bothering them. But how can we really know someone unless we don't try to get to know them. For me I was so afraid to reach out for help but once I did alot of the people struggled with the exact things I did and they helped me and we grew closer, now I know I can really trust them. Is it worth risking you bothering them over a possible long friendship you might get? You can't live your life by yourself without others help. Sometimes your only choice is to bother people to get help. You need to help you before you can do anything else like be great at your job.

How long have you struggled with suicide and unstable moods?