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greenpunkergirl said:
So the other night my........... I guess boyfriend............. and I were talking, and he was telling me all these nice things, and then he said, "well, I guess I'll have to tell the next gf that........(nice things about me that she would have to compare to......)." I was crushed, to say the least. Why would he say something like that? We were talking about his ex's all night, he seems to reflect on them a lot. I can't reach him yet to talk about it.......not at his comp.......but I truely feel hurt. He tells me that he cares more about me than any other girl he's been with, and that I frighten him because apparently I am too perfect, his words, not mine, and that he's afraid that either something is really really wrong with me, or if we broke up, the hurt it would cause. I don't get it. If you feel this way about someone, why would you say such things? Maybe someone can shed some light on the subject. Thanks! <font color="#008800"> </font>

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I actually think what he said to you was really rude.

Perhaps his way to 'keep you on your toes'? Some men like to think that they still have the ability to control women emotionally through not ever really letting them feel secure in the relationship. I have had friends go through this, myself to a small extent.

It's like a variable reinforcement schedule - giving you positive reinforcement about the status of the relationship sometimes, and negative responses or neutral responses other times.

This often creates a stronger behaviour pattern because you never know when you're next going to be positively reinforced so you tend to try harder.

Not comparing you to training a rat in psychology experiments or anything but it's kinda a behaviorism principle in general - albeit very crudely explained.

You have every right to be upset, but you probably should try and give him a rational reaction rather than an emo one. Don't give him the satisfaction of being really upset.

Good luck ...