Hello..

I am married to a beautiful woman who is the mother of 4 wonderful children. We have been married for 15 years. I am kind of at the end of my rope though these days... and I need to come to terms with her personality. I want to stay married, but I just don't understand what I am missing.

After 15 years, I understand as much about her as I did from the first year. If you are familiar with the stoic personality - which is about 1% of the population if even that is one in which resignation rules. They feel impenetrable to others... they seem upset and disinterested, and rarely, if ever show emotion. Usually the only emotion I get out of her is anger or disappointment, and alot of times it seems like an overreaction which makes me feel that there is something deeper, and the reaction is like a pressure valve to keep her from really exploding about how you have disappointed her since we became married.

I've read enough to know this is probably not the case... but they mess with the accepted system of social cues... so it's hard not to slip into thinking she would rather beat you over anything else.

She is not sexually interested and never initiates. She will gladly give whenever asked... but never asks herself. To a husband... that is like eating tacks.

I went into the city on a drive the other day to clear my head of thoughts of leaving and maybe finding a person that seems to value what I have to give, and I saw couples functioning the way I would like to... holding hands, being affectionate - functioning as the world accepts it. Ever since then I have been silently smoldering over a situation that really can't change... we are who we are.

Any advice would be great.