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Jul 09, 2014, 12:34 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Denmark
Posts: 123
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I'm glad you got out of all that, that you're now free. The first step is always to realize what's wrong, seeing what you want to change. You have a very long way ahead of you and it sure as hell won't be easy at all.
As demotivational as it may sound, you'll be starting all over but perhaps it's the change you need? You've gone through a lot, I'm sorry for that.
The ones you call your "friends" aren't truly even close to being that to you, so I'd advice you to just shut the door for them. I've started to go by the "what's doing you no good, has no place in your life" - weed them out.
You need to let in the light, bit by bit if possible. What happened to you in the past, is in the past, you need to leave it there and get back up, embrace the bit of light you let in.
Get up early one day, draw back the curtains and take a nice bath, ditch your old breakfast and try something new.
For me, it's the tiniest things in my day that makes me smile. Even if it seems trivial to some, it's what I hold on to. People often look at me weird, just because I smile brighter than the sun.
Their looks however don't make me stop.
It's incredibly hard to believe anything will change, but that's because you're holding yourself back. You have all these negative events, the trauma, the sadness, the pain - to render any change possible. Why could it get better?
Well, YOU can make it better.
I don't have any experience whatsoever with drugs, perhaps only my own sadness, which sorta worked like a drug.
But a will stronger than iron, stronger than titanium, can help you pull through anything. If your will isn't strong, I'd suggest building it up. Saying no, standing up for yourself, telling yourself you can do it, challenge yourself to doing better day by day.
I believe in you.
In regards to being social, making friends, new connections - it's all about being yourself, again challenging yourself. Say hello to a stranger, perhaps smile back at a person.
Make random conversation with a person at Walmart, even if you get nothing back, it's the effort that counts.
It probably all sounds cliche, but I've found that often people smile back and that makes it worth it.
It's your life, only you can make the change, if you want to.
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