Hi Dru. Welcome. I had agoraphobia too. I stayed in my flat alone from November 2000 'til December 2004... had panic attacks when the phone rang or when I went down to the front door to get the mail or even when I was just watching tv or lying in bed. It took me a long time (YEARS) to admit what was going on with me. I finally knew I needed therapy, but I couldn't leave my home. How the heck was I supposed to get therapy? Therapists don't make house calls! I went to the doctor about once every month or two because I had a physical health problem too, but I had to be practically dragged there and I had horrid panic attacks the whole time -- could barely speak to my doc.

If you feel up for it, you could try to find a therapist. Since you're still able to get out of your house twice a week, that's a really good thing. Maybe you could add therapy too. Are you seeing a psychiatrist or a doctor? If you're not, you should make an appointment and talk to someone about this.

I'll tell you what worked for me. This is not a how-to guide, though, because everyone's situation is so different. Since I couldn't calm down enough to go to therapy, my doctor prescribed Clonazepam for my anxiety -- 0.5 mg before bed. Within a few weeks, I actually felt well enough to go out on a little outing to a store with my sister. That was HUGE for me... hadn't done that in YEARS. Within a short while, I started seeing a psychiatrist and a Cognitive Behaviour Therapist -- each once a week. My psychiatrist put me on Celexa. It helped a lot with my anxiety and the CBT gave me some really useful techniques to challenge myself and help me get better. Within about 5 months of starting therapy and Celexa, I was back at work. That was over 2 years ago. I still had occasional panic attacks, but I could cope and it felt so good to have my life back.

I'm now in a new, more demanding job. I was off Celexa for over a year, but take Lexapro now (I had some depression in the fall and winter, so that's why I decided to try Lexapro). The Lexapro has lifted the depression a fair bit, but it has done wonders for my anxiety. I haven't had a panic attack since I started taking it. It has worked SO well for me in that regard. I still carry Clonazepam with me just in case, but I rarely need it these days.

So, I hope you get therapy. It's so positive that you know and acknowledge the agoraphobia and panic attacks. That was the hardest part for me -- accepting that I had a problem and needed help. Just remember, there IS hope. I was hopeless for so long. I didn't think I would get better, but I did. You already know you are amazingly strong. You beat two powerful addictions by changing your behaviour. CBT can teach you ways to change your avoidance behaviour and face your anxiety. I'm sending positive energy your way. You can do it!