CBT. DBT. EMDR. Etc. Maybe I am just too cynical. All sounds like something Oprah would have gushed over back in the day when she was reinventing herself as America's new age spiritual cheerleader.

Does any of this stuff actually work? Because I am getting sick of throwing time and money down the rabbit hole?

If something can fix me to the point I can be relatively happy on a day by day basis I will do it.

But if it my destiny to walk around unhappy plagued by constant bad memories, dark thoughts, fears, fine, time to accept that and roll with it.

I am like Teacake - coming up on the time of year where anniversary dates of "what happened" really bother me - they certainly did last year.

Two years of struggle upon the heels of a lifetime of struggle - all set in motion before I was ever conceived- perpetual punishment for a crime I didn't even commit.

I am sick of the struggle. Happy or sad, I just want peace and closure. I just want to live in an "ordinary world" that doesn't revolve around doctors and therapists and psychotropic drugs and support or lack thereof and yada yada yada.

Is there any realistic way to achieve that? Are there success stories out there who just don't share their wisdom here very much? People who look back and think "wow, glad I am all done with that!"