Thank you very much outlaw sammy,I have to be strong for her, it's not really an option because she is the most important part of my life. She keeps me going & I keep her going.. I'm a confident headstrong person anyway. I have to be because of the job I do, but my fiancé is a different story.. Even if I'm having one of the worst days ever,I still manage to keep a smile on my face and put my Babygirl first and reassure her she's going to be okay, WE are going to be okay.. Even if at the time I don't believe it,I will still make her feel safe & find the strength to get her through the day..she's been back in hospital for the last 4 weeks tomorrow & hasn't spoken a word to anyone except me.. She don't talk to me, she holds me tight and cries when I am allowed to visit her, from the second I arrive there until the second I leave. It's so hard though. If I'm honest,I feel like crying with her but that would make her panic & think if I'm struggling that she has no chance.. I do whatever it takes to keep a straight face while I'm with her bit the second I get outside after the visit I jump in my car & I cry all the way home.. I wish I could swap places with her soon could take her pain away..I love her more than life, she loves me more than life & as long as I get her through the day I really dont care how I feel..I just HAVE TO BE STRONG, it's not an option. I hope she gets better soon. I miss her & she misses me so much it's heartbreaking [emoji24]..thank you for praying for us..thank you very much, mean that from the bottom of my heart.