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ECHOES said:

Any thoughts you'd like to share about taking versus not taking your medication?

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It's so pathetic, but I'm completely doing it on purpose. I refuse to take it right now. I think it's because I know it will bother T. No, it's because I know it will force him to be concerned about me. Yes, I think that's it. Last week, he was very concerned because I had told him how I got very angry in the car and threw my cell phone against the dashboard while I was driving. He got all concerned that I was going to hurt myself, and asked me not to do that anymore. (Of course I got pissed anyway-- can't win with me). So I guess what I'm doing is replicating the self-destructive behavior to evoke a response from T. I am also really enjoying the control of "I can choose to not take this medication. I can completely refuse." There is something slightly exciting about that. Plus, it will annoy the pdoc a bit too, so I'm killing 2 birds with 1 stone. I'm f***ing sick.