I know everyone is unique, and everyone with bipolar disorder is unique.

For me, I NEVER have gone into heavy depression, or psychotic mania, unless I was heavily triggered. As long as there are no serious triggers or extreme stress in my life, I am basically fine, except for minor depressions, and minor hypomania.

So, I try my best to avoid triggers, but sometimes I get paranoid about it, and start worrying about anything that could possibly happen to trigger me into black depression. Like one of my little kids dying, or something horrible like that. It is so weird, I am actually very happy, very successful, very stable, and even manic at this stage of my life. Yet, even the thought of a stressful event, or other bad trigger makes me scared, and sad.

Trigger warning, this might be VERY, VERY upsetting for some people! Do not read any further, if you are depressed, or easly triggered into depression.








A week or so ago, I read that news story about the little toddler that was left strapped in the backseat of his car for seven hours. SEVEN HOURS... inside the car it would have been well over 100 degrees. Of course the boy died of hyperthermia. The small child had scratches on his face where he had clawed himself to try to deal with the suffering and how he had bruised the back of his head banging it against the carseat trying to free himself from it.

That story triggered me pretty heavily. It keeps haunting me. I have a small toddler and I just can't handle the thought of the horrible suffering that little, innocent helpless toddler went through.

Part of me wishes I could trade places with that little kid and die the horrible death for him.... I have to stop thinking about before I go into a heavy depression. I am actually crying my eyes out right now.

If my own kids ever had to suffer like that, I would probably go so insane I would kill myself.

Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest.