I think the reason he gave her his email and didn't give it to you is because he's known her for years and years. Although I don't agree with that find it quite unethical for there to be one rule for one patient and another for the next.

I think if you and a friend see the same therapist it's bound to cause trouble. Myself and a friend of a friend who I occasionally saw shared a therapist once (saw her coming out of her office) and it brought out loads of uneasy feelings in me, and I barely knew her! So I think it's normal...especially with transference thrown into the mix. It might be an idea to tell your T.