I disagree.....I believe that the unsaid things are just as much a lie as the things that are said....because they keep the TRUTH from being known & that is what a lie is all about.

I lived 33 years with a person who chose to hide stuff.....& it was always stuff that was going to come out & it was going to do major damage. When you are withholding ANYTHING....it's your judgment whether it's just NOTHING to you might be something HUGE to the other person....& it's NOT your right to make that determination.

I'm not talking about something like "gee, that dress really doesn't look that good on you"......I talking about things like getting a letter in the mail that is of major importance (in my case it was from the IRS about back taxes on MY Inheritance money).....didn't bother to tell me about the letter & never bothered to tell the IRS.....or not bothering to pay the property taxes on the house that my name was still on after I left him....& then not saying anything when he quit making payments also. I found out when the mortgage company called me because he wasn't bothering to communicate with them.

Sorry, but arguing is a normal part of life....when 2 people come together, there is no way that 2 people can always think alike.....& those differences NEED TO BE DISCUSSED & brought out into the open & may not be resolved, but understanding needs to happen. If you keep sweeping every thing under the carpet....pretty soon you have a huge elephant hiding under there & it's going to make a mess of the relationship....maybe not within a few years.....but over a long time....it will BLOW up in your face.

So DEAL WITH IT when it happens & don't think you are magically making it go away by not saying anything.....it doesn't.

After 33 years of living the way I did....I can assure you that I was seeing red every time I had to deal with him before I left.....& the hate & anger grew until it almost destroyed me.......had many sui attempts trying to escape from the trapped place I felt I was in. I didn't realize it at the time that was the cause of the problem.....but having survived & looking back.....it's pretty clear now as to the cause of what I was going through....not just the loss of my career.