Thank you kaliope for taking the time to respond back to my post. It has been hard and a long battle for me since I was growing up as a kid. I am 25 years old now and have been doing all sorts of therapy since I was just a kid on and off. Talk therapy seems to have been the worst because all they do is talk about your problems and it never really addresses how to fix the issues you have dealt with in your life.

My therapist is not offering much of explanation at this time because as far as she is concerned therapy is working but probably taking time to unveil itself to me with results. She told me that the way this works is generally she gives a person 3 months when they start doing the emdr and if by then the person has not seen any results or the results are too little then she will re-evaluate me to see where I am at and if emdr is really the best approach for my situation and if it is then she will try once more but perhaps a different approach to emdr.

She told me that sometimes these things take time but in one month of doing this I would like to think I could have at least a starting point of change but it gets so frustrating when I walk in the door to her office and leave exactly the same way I walked in. She wants me to remember the traumas and try to focus on them so I can recreate and feel the same exact traumatic emotions this way the emdr can help me process the trauma and help me to relax this trauma from my past.

The issue I have is that upon thinking of the traumas I don't actually manage to regain the trauma emotions I had at the time of the trauma because the only way for me personally to regain said emotions would be to go through the trauma all over again or have it happening to me. The thoughts of what happened alone are not enough to make me traumatized it's when I am faced with similar situations in public places with other people that I feel trauma if that makes sense. I thank you your kind response to me and for taking the time to read through this.