Well sort of half and half for me, I have been doing 'stay in my body' but in some cases this meant that I was not dissociating but that I didn't orgasm, which is ok, because we were still both really enjoying it. If I drift off I'm finding that if I describe to myself what he is doing or what we are doing, it helps me to stay present... Getting him to talk to me also helps but with an aspie bloke the content is quite unpredictable at times !!

I also have found that when things are bothering me about other stuff I'm dealing with (dad stuff and memories and stress) I literally just can't engage with it, which is a change because I realise before I was dissociating all the time and doing it anyway which it seems was a failsafe and now I've tried to stop doing that, I have to face the fact that I am stressed and may not be in the mood right now... Which is new, because I've always thought I was always 'in the mood' but actually I wasn't. I was doing what someone else wanted or what I thought they wanted. I'm finding it all a bit challenging really but the aim of not going off into that place again is a pretty good motivator...