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Hello, i am not sure what this is and if its the right place to post it but recently i've started to notice that i am quite obsessed with writing in my journal and im wondering if it is normal/healthy or not and would appreciate any input.
right now i usually spend from 1 to 3 hours (sometimes more) a day to write in my journal. and during the day i take notes to help me remember everything i do, think or feel so that i wont forget to mention anything when i write about my day. sometimes i even take notes during a conversation (if important) to remember what was said and what i was thinking and feeling. if i dont get to write exactly all that i planned to write i am upset and not happy until i get to write it, even if i only get to do it after a day or more. if i forget something, i keep thinking about it and the train of thoughts that led me to the forgotten thought until i remember it.
i dont feel like i write only when i need it anymore but that i need (and have to) write down everything, otherwise i feel like i am not ok, i feel guilty and as if i have not done my duty. writing helps me getting out of my mind and heart a lot of things and i feel relieved after i have written everything but i also feel its becoming an obsession, a duty, a must and im not so happy about it. not sure if its that good for me anymore. maybe its just a bit too much, i dont know.
i have been writing a journal for 4 years now. it started with me writing only when i felt like venting, like once a week. gradually i started writing more and more often and now i write at least once a day, sometimes more. and the more i write, the more i feel i need to write and describe all the details even when i recognize they are not important or really worth to be mentioned. now i feel like writing both frees me and traps me at the same time.
i am at a point where i avoid seeing people, talking with them or going places to have time to write in my journal and i prefer writing to everything else. i do it at work (even instead of working), at home, and any time i have some free time and something in my mind to say. thats like the only thing i think about all day. when i have finished writing i feel like i am tired for having "talked" so much that i need to rest and stay alone.
now that i've written it down it doesnt seem very ok, but maybe until it helps me it is ok? even if i kind of miss out real life? i do write about real happenings but since nothing much really happens in my life i tend to write about my inner world a lot more.
what do you think?
sorry for the lenght, and thanks for reading and for any comment.
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