Hello SteinerofThule,

It sounds very much like you have anxiety and depression. You are very down on yourself and this would make you tired and lack motivation. Anxiety is fear and it will mask all other emotions. Anxiety and depression like to hold hands so it is difficult as the two rub off each other. So it looks like you have some mental health issues which are making you feel really awful. Please go back to your doctor, get some medication and restart therapy with a therapist that you trust. You can do this!