sidony, very interesting thread!

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I can't see how useful it is for me to show up and not participate

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It doesn't sound useful to me either. Does it meet your therapy goals in any way? I think it would drive me crazy to sit there and listen to a bunch of people arguing. I think some people argue for sport, and I tend not to like to be around that sort. Is there a way you can work on learning to deal with conflict in your one on one sessions with your T? Or did you try that already with no success? What does your T think you can get out of your group sessions that you can't get out of your individual sessions? Those people in your group all sound so insecure to me. Give me a break--they are worried the girl who tried to make you feel welcome will become a better friend of yours than they will? Who effing cares!!! Who wants to be everybody's best friend, anyway? LOL, I can tell I would flunk group if I tried it. Yuck, just yuck.

I like your idea of doing a group where everyone is starting at the same time. If you want to do group in any fashion, perhaps share that idea with your T. You can ask him if he knows of any new groups starting up with that are run by colleagues he respects and thinks you might like. After all, it shouldn't matter to him who facilitates the group you join. When my first baby was born, I was in a group for new moms and their babies. I remember one woman missed the first few sessions and then when she did come, she felt we had already bonded and that she couldn't break into our established patterns. So she waited for a new group to form a couple of months later. We all completely understood where she was coming from, as did our facilitator.

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I don't even like individual therapy as much because I feel like I waste time talking about the group. To me, that's like talking about work. I could gripe about work, but it's not a real issue for me. It's more like a distraction from real issues. Make sense?

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Yes, completely! I remember that was my worry when you first posted about group here. You can just make yourself a rule that you will not talk about group in your solo session. If your T asks you why you won't talk about group anymore, just say you need to talk about the issues of highest priority to you in your session, and right now group is not in that category. You are paying good money for your solo sessions. You get to choose the topic. If you get sidetracked by your T on the group topic, spend a couple of minutes on it and then just say firmly, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I would like to talk about X." And off you go on the new topic.

sidony, just read your group report from today. Glad it went better than expected. I would be interested to know if you can keep group discussion out of your solo session this week.

My T as well as the T of my daughter both have psychodrama groups one night a week. I am quite intrigued by these. How does one get to be in one? Would my T invite me to join his group? I would actually be very flattered if he did, although I am not sure I would accept (I know I would feel very shy to have him watch me act things out!) But he has never asked me, so I wonder if he thinks I am not "good enough" for his group. Ha, ha, typical insecurity. I don't even know what "good enough" means, lol. But I think psychodrama is a very intriguing method of healing past hurts and traumas as well as dealing with present relationship difficulties. I'm not really the dramatic type, I'm kind of reserved, and I picture the people in the group being very theatrical and emotional at the drop of the hat. Who knows if that is true or not, but that is not how I am, and T has never mentioned the group to me in a way that says "hey, you could join this if you want."