Had T yesterday. I got very upset and snapped rubber bands on myself for a long time in front if T. Never did that before. We talked o my loss if empathy. Then she compared me to my mother. I am not my mother! Not am I my father! I hate them both! I wish dreadful things upon them. And I'm talkin like I'm 80yrs old!!! What the f!!

Anyways she compared me I that b I snapped bands til bruises appeared all over my wrist and I could only see my father coming after me. The screams and cries in the night r back. I think T got frustrated sine I started snapping and stopped talking. Today I feel so broken inside and just want to hide and die. But no have to go to work and play the part that I'm ok. It's draining even when hyper. I just want it to end. End me or end these feelings and let me be like everyone else. Dead or ok is all I want.