Well, you probably know if you read some of my posts that yes I also get miserable about this. But... I do know something about it. I think saying we are all miserable and stupid is a bit harsh, we might all be miserable, but probably for a reason!

Here's where you might be "wrong"... First please don't take this as a personal attack, it's definitely neither of those because as I said I feel the same way as you frequently. Do you think you are really thinking about your T more than you are about yourself? I think we are all trying to get our needs met. We might obsess over fantasies of T, but we aren't thinking much of our T's as real people, more about what they can do for us. As it should be, therapy is a lopsided relationship. And yes, T's do attach to clients, and they should spend the entire hour thinking about you. Unless your T is a sociopath they have some degree of attachment, it's just that you should never hear from your T how attached they feel, because yada yada it's bad therapy for some reason.

Well this is true maybe for you and I, however why does T have to be the only one for us? We are in a world full of people, even people who are sad and lonely just like us. This chat room should go to show you there are people out there who do understand and can connect with you, the challenge is forming that connection. Your T should help you form more connections outside of therapy, but this work is obviously done solo, so it's on us to go out and try.

I think the misery in therapy is longing for what we will really never have, and that's not a connection with T (we can have that), it's something much deeper that the T reminds us of. We are not just stupid, because we are troubled. Everyone is troubled in some way, this just happens to be one of ours. The path to happiness is oddly expressed in all the major world religions, and that is selflessness. If you meditate on your T, or on the ones you love, focusing on their interests it might start to slowly help. For example, if I am jealous of my T's partner, I might do a thought process in my meditation that goes like this "I love my T, I want my T to be happy, when my T is happy it makes me happy, I want my T to love/feel loved in a romantic relationship, may my T find love and happiness, may my T's partner find love and happiness." Parts may seem like a stretch, but in time this becomes easier to do.

The other thing you might want to try is starting the meditation first for yourself. Sit and meditate on the thought "I love Melania, I want Melania to be happy, I want Melania to love and to feel loved in a relationship, may I find love and happiness, may my friends and loved ones also find love and happiness."