Quote:
Originally Posted by Moreira
She really said something like that?! Sounds like trouble...
I don't think it's fair to resent someone because they are incapable of having children. Are there literally health reasons or does she just hate the idea? She already has 4 kids. She probably isn't interested in having another. Understandable. Four kids is a lot, but I think compromise here is important. I would suggest maybe seeing a doctor with her and getting an opinion about it.
I will say that reading that statement about her saying something about breaking up so you could find someone else leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Really? Who says something like that to someone they want to spend their life with? Was that comment driven by insecurity, guilt... lack of care?...  |
It's both. Her doctor told her before her last kid she should be finished cause she is so small boned, and was amazed she made it through the last one. But she also says she can't mentally raise another kid. She says (before we were together) that she's had dreams of getting pregnant again and giving birth then jumping off a cliff... which i can understand not wanting a 5th child. I really can. I mean I never wanted more than 2 children, 3 at most. but that would be under perfect circumstances.
As far as her statement about breaking up, I think it was out of guilt, plus her "saving my child's life". I wouldn't say that to someone I truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but she has this tendency to try and martyr herself for others.
What makes it more difficult is that over the last couple months it's been back and forth with her, saying she would have my kid if she could stay home for the first 2 years with it, then back to how she's so glad she's done having kids, and then how she'd have my kid so she wouldn't lose me even if she would be putting her life at risk... I really agreed with this break, not only for me to get my head straight and really figure what's more important to me, but also for her to really think about things, and what's worth what so she doesn't do this back and forth thing. It really is like giving me hope, then dashing it away, then a little hope, then gone again.
I really want things to work out with her, I feel like I'd have the perfect relationship/life with her if I could just have a kid with her.
(I hope everything I've said doesn't paint her in a manipulative, mean form. because she is the most thoughtful, caring, loving, happy woman i know) really.