I agree, alexandra. I don't think it's safe to jump to conclusions about this guy -- based on one comment he made. If it turns out to be part of a pattern of behaviour where he's trying to make greenpunkergirl feel bad... being a manipulator or passive aggressive, that's one thing. If it was just a misguided joke, that's something else entirely. I'm so damn sarcastic and I open my mouth before I think all the time... and often think I'm funny... and sometimes other people don't agree with me. I know I've made remarks that I meant to be funny and they ended up being hurtful instead... and when it was pointed out to me, I felt bad and I apologized. I sometimes forget that some people are more sensitive than I am. I can dish it out and I can take it, but some people (like my sis) are more fragile and I so I have learned to respect that.

I have a tendency to ramble on about ex-boyfriends when I'm with current boyfriends... and I never mean any disrespect or intend to cause jealousy by doing it. I don't go into details about sex life or anything like that, but some of the relationships I have had have been defining in my life and the names of exes come up in conversation... because they were my companion when I went interesting places or when interesting things happened. They're a part of my life. I also talk a whole lot, so EVERYTHING comes up in conversation.

As for the generalizations about men and women... It reminds me of when I was living with my ex-boyfriend. My friends were always talking about "Grrrrr men!!! They're insensitive and they don't communicate their feelings!" I remember sitting there, having nothing to contribute, thinking, "Hmmm... my boyfriend is MORE sensitive than I am and sometimes I wish he would just STOP talking about his feelings... enough already!"

So, it comes down to individuals. Regardless of our gender, we're all individuals with our own quirks and our own imperfections. Can guys be total a**holes? Absolutely! So can women! I know I've been one on more than occasion. There may be certain tendencies that are more common in one gender than another, but I think that broad generalizations are dangerous and drawing conclusions about a person's intentions and character based on very little information is premature... and could turn out to be way off-base.

I guess I have a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt, until they prove me wrong.