Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenentity
It's not because I'm smarter than everyone else, btw. It's hard for me to trust people, and even if I do, I still don't trust them enough to let them in on my secrets. For instance, I can tell them "I'm feeling down", but I can't really tell them why I'm down.
My mom, I talk to her more than anyone else on the planet, but she doesn't listen. Things I say go over her head. Sometimes she starts talking when I'm talking, and it's like she becomes completely oblivious to what I'm saying, like she can't hear me at all. I have to scream "mom!... MOM!" and then she's like "oh what were you saying son?". All I can say is 'nevermind', because the right moment has already passed and I don't want to say the same things again. It's incredibly frustrating, but I don't blame her at all.
Sometimes I try to let my emotions out, but I feel like no one values my emotions, if this is too much to ask from people, I guess I'm the fool then.
Only time my friends listen to me, is when they're drunk, they tell me they love me, they tell me that they're always there for me. They sober up, and they're all gone, I realize it's just the booze talking.
|
First of all, I'm kinda starting to think that, general, no one really listens to anyone else. Most people have no internal life like you do (and like I do too). Most people don't think about their thoughts or their feelings. They are just more like animals: they just exist. So, these people (who I think make up the majority) are never going to be in any sort of meaningful conversation with you. Never.
Second, although you want to talk about your inner thoughts and inner feelings, really, no one cares about, and no one ever will, for the most part. And, in sense, that is not something that you should condemn others for. Nor, I am NOT saying that it is normal and right for no one to like you and care about you and spend time with you. No, that is not alright. And you can and must do things to remedy that situation. But I am saying that someone with a deep and active and troubled inner world cannot expect others to take a great interest in that inner world. It just isn't want friends or lovers talk about. Who then do you talk to about your deep and active and troubled inner world? I can really think of only a few outlets: a counselor; a support group; and online forums like PsychCentral.
Third, I think for people like you (and me), I think the secret to making friends is to have intense interests that plenty of other people in your area also have an interest in. Then when you are with them you talk mostly about this common interest. The common interest could be anything healthy, such as: science fiction; making jelly; riding horses; riding motorcycles; Republican Party activism; Democrat Party activism; running marathons; birdwatching; winemaking; gardening; the Civil War; painting; writing. It could be anything. It just needs to be a thing you are really into and love to do every day and a thing that some other people in your area are also into.
That's all I have for now. What do you think of those ideas?