Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenentity
It's not because I'm smarter than everyone else, btw. It's hard for me to trust people, and even if I do, I still don't trust them enough to let them in on my secrets. For instance, I can tell them "I'm feeling down", but I can't really tell them why I'm down.
My mom, I talk to her more than anyone else on the planet, but she doesn't listen. Things I say go over her head. Sometimes she starts talking when I'm talking, and it's like she becomes completely oblivious to what I'm saying, like she can't hear me at all. I have to scream "mom!... MOM!" and then she's like "oh what were you saying son?". All I can say is 'nevermind', because the right moment has already passed and I don't want to say the same things again. It's incredibly frustrating, but I don't blame her at all.
Sometimes I try to let my emotions out, but I feel like no one values my emotions, if this is too much to ask from people, I guess I'm the fool then.
Only time my friends listen to me, is when they're drunk, they tell me they love me, they tell me that they're always there for me. They sober up, and they're all gone, I realize it's just the booze talking.
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Hi Brokenentity: I came from a family, as well as from a time period, when nobody talked about personal problems or emotions of any sort. I recall when I was a young teenager, my father told me one day, since I was getting a bit older at that point, I shouldn't feel as though I needed to hug him anymore. I don't think I ever did.
Nowadays, I live in a suburb where there are allot of older people (like me!) No one I have any interaction with here ever talks about personal problems or emotions either. I don't think people in general do this. And I think men tend to be worse at this than women. I do think women, at least with close friends, may be more likely to share their inner thoughts & feelings.
I know, for myself, it took me many years, including 2 major suicide attempts, to get to the point where I could share at least a small portion of what's inside. And, even at that, it's tough. I even read posts here on PC & I'll think: "Boy... I would never write anything as personal as that!"
The thing I think helped me the most was to participate in group therapy sessions during my 2 hospitalizations. I had always told myself I would never do anything like that. But, at that point, I had to. And I found I actually enjoyed it & it helped me to open up just a bit. If some kind of group therapy situation was convenient for me to get to now, I would probably go.