J - but you haven't shared anything about your depression, anxiety or OCD - only about your PNES which might just be symptom of your depression, anxiety and OCD. You talk of different therapies and how you have made decisions not to go with them; you make a point in saying you are pragmatic; that you don't indulge too much in social interaction and by inference, it sounds like you're a perfectionist. At only one point do you mention that all these problems made you feel inadequate. I not sure what i'm trying to get at - but it sounds like you avoid the emotional content of your ordeal by rationalization and that you haven't yet addressed your true problems, whatever they may be. I truely hope that one day you find the answer.