Well, the sedation and weight gain have finally become enough. I am getting off of my meds.

I was going to wait to have my doctor taper me down, but I'm eager to be off of the poison so I'm just going to cut out the 5 mg pill of zyprexa (just take the 6 mg zyprexa/50 mg Prozac pill) and a few weeks later set myself free entirely.

My manias are very gentle and mild. The real problem is depression, and that tends to be seasonal. I'll get a light box and exercise more. If that doesn't work, then maybe I'll consider pharmacology again.

Last time I quit my meds, in April, I did it cold turkey. I ended up in the ER, suicidal. So to avoid that fate, I am making a promise to myself and all of you. No matter how hellish withdrawal is, no matter how much I want to give up...I will not harm myself for a month. I've never made a promise like that before. I think it will keep me safe and out of the hospital.