Quote:
Originally Posted by Ripose
I realized a long time ago that even as a young child (as early as 5-6 yrs) I had many symptoms of MI. My first thoughts of suicide occurred while still in elementary school. I was a loner as I was afraid of most people because most of them were sarcastic, rude, mean, vindictive etc.
I had many disturbing thoughts about harming others and I started to self-harm as well.
Being so young I did not know where to turn, I did not even trust my family enough to tell them how I felt inside
Although I went through a few brief periods of relative normalcy I was always considered to be weird and strange by most people. All I wanted was a friend who could be nice to me. I did have some people I would have called close friends but none of this ever lasted. As the years passed my MI became increasingly severe and obvious to others.
Here I am today 50 years later, right now recovering from serotonin sickness. Nobody except my wife wants anything to do with me.
I don't really want any sympathy I was just very curious if any of you were MI from such a young age as well. I truly hope not but it would give me a belated sense of comfort if someone could identify with me.
Geez, now I sound desperate! I'll post this now before I re-read it and chicken-out.
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I had problems all along as well, in fact, I think lots of people have but maybe not as significant as yours. I used to be a bit strange as a kid and even acted somewhat bizarrely from time to time as well. I'm pretty sure I have a mild asperger syndrome along with the other issues that I experience at times such as depression, some sporadic paranoia, and from time to time "crazy" delusional type ideas (e.g. thinking I made some incredible discovery or some such nonsense). I think some of us have had a "different" vibe if you will since pretty much forever. As also, I have had a cynical mistrust of my folks at times since I was young as well. It's a sort of another manifestation of my sporadic paranoid thoughts but less outlandish since they are family. When I get paranoid about other people, I usually think they're plotting against me in some way or even trying to do me some kind of serious harm. Luckily, I don't get like that all that often