Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccer mom
She asked why and I said maybe because of my mom's death. Then she said the dreaded sentence.........."have you heard of transference". I told her I had read about it. When I asked when they would go away, she said I need to say what I'm feeling. UGH. I just couldn't get the two words I thought of: Intense Love. We went over (I was her last session) so we had to end. Luckily, she sees me next week. She said it will now be up to her when I end therapy - obviously I have a lot of work to do.
In a weird way I feel better but the feelings also seem stronger. When I google maternal transference, not much comes up. Have any of you experienced it?
Thanks for listening....
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I agree with Stopdog. I too, am freaking out about this and I was not even there.
First: Therapists are not supposed to ask "why". That is a very anxiety-inducing and interrogating question. Often times we don't know why..."Why?" is hard for many people to answer in all sorts of situations. I believe it is this word that triggers "I don't know", "I'm not sure", or silence, even shame. There are ways to word the same question without asking why. "When did you notice it beginning?" "What do you feel changed in the relationship that may have contributed to these feelings?"
GOSH even the generic "How did/does that make you feel?" would be better than "Why?".
Second Angry Tangent: Who the HELL is she to determine when YOUR therapy ends!?!?!
She can most certainly "check in" occasionally and ask "is therapy still helping? are you benefiting from sessions?" just to gauge if you are only continuing to see her because of attachment and "transference" (that word makes me want to puke).
I believe they are ethically bound to make the client aware of their intentions and how much it is continuing to help. If they sit back and suspect a client only returns due to attachment or obsession with T or the whole therapeutic process in general, that is unethical. They realize more harm than good is occurring and they need to speak up. BUT TO END IT!? Jeesh if it were me (and I have been in similar situations) I would go to every session wondering if this is the time she will decide my therapy is done. It would consume me.
I genuinely hope, for the sake of your well-being, that I am missing something or took her words out of context. It really makes me angry when I hear/read about Therapists abusing their power.