Hi Mapper,

I can certainly understand your frustration. Your husband has all the wrong things prioritized in his life right now. He lies to his boss, drinks at times he probably shouldn't, and plays video games excessively. However, I am not certain if all of this immediately adds up to someone who is lazy and uncaring although that is a possibility. Personally, I think these are symptoms of depression and extreme anxiety that he may be in denial about. It really doesn't sound like he enjoys his job very much and thus, he does whatever he can to avoid going to work. I am certain his boss is not buying into his excuses but obviously there is not much he can do about it. I think there is a good chance your husband is suffering some anxiety at work and missing work just makes it worse. He must realize his coworkers do not consider him reliable. Drinking and playing video games to excess are ways to avoid facing that uncomfortable reality. His behavior has compounded over time because the more work he misses, the more difficult is for him to feel accepted at work. It is easier just to make up excuses and not face the situation. The results of his depression and guilt are causing great frustration for you and harming your relationship. I think counseling and maybe even medication would probably help him out. Also, a job change might make a big difference even though I know that can pose challenges in and of itself. If he found a workplace or occupation that gave him greater satisfaction he might want to go into work rather than staying home. I am just offering an alternative perspective to consider. I hope things get better for both of you soon.