Unfortunately I cannot answer your questions as I still haven't found the answer... But I definitely can relate... I have no idea why it is so difficult to past such a strong urge to protect ourselves, or maybe I know, because in the past it was not worth it? It only caused the damage and not relief? But I don't know what to do to in order to stop protecting just in case... On my last session I actually admitted that I hate when people are nice to me, it makes me anxious as I only wait to find out why actually they are nice, no one is nice without a hidden reason, right?

I think that you have a very good T and it is great that he told you all these things because I believe that he said what he believed in - he didn't have to say anything, right? But I would also "freak out" after hearing something like that, it is so difficult to allow ourselves feeling... Thus, for sure, you are not alone!