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bizi said:
When I was first hospitalized I believed that I was having a conflict with jesus being in my head and I wanted to put him in my heart, In the er I became catotonic and was four way leather strapped with my one hand strapped by my head...surreal.
bizi

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Wow, I have several hospital tales to tell but have never recognized but only a few BiPolar 1 people on the 2 psych websites that I frequent (notice the date of this original post). You sound like you have some serious manic episodes bizi. I hope that you have found something that helps you stay out of those leathers. For me, it was accepting my diagnosis and my medication. What made the difference after years of resisting my diagnosis was ending up in the state hospital the day my first son was born. I haven't seen a hospital since thanks to lithium. My son graduates from the University of Colorado next month.