No, you never lost it. Thinking you did is an error in thinking that I know you work actively to counter. Try not to get too bogged down in that thinking today. We all have days when our thinking tries to spiral downward on us, but we can work to counter that thinking (and I really think you are doing a much better job of this these days than you used to do). Don't get too down on yourself for having these bad moments. Remember, they do pass as they've done for you before.