i know what you mean. being alone most of the day myself, it makes my mind go in all different directions. i have a pretty firm grip on the past. my present is shaky & questionable at best. and i am praying continually for a brighter future. there are so many things we could all say to help you feel better, but the main point you need to see is that you have to want to get better. i know i'm new here but if you need someone to listen , then i have ears. hope you find the blue skies that are outside your window today. smile!!