I feel insane and completely stupid. I should be feeling better. My T, who I've been seeing for almost a year now, even said that I have come long way and she loves to see the maturity I have developed. She said "I'm watching you grow up in front of me". I love that.

.......but then why do I want to commit suicide???

I'm getting back in school. I just recently finished a two month program for school so I can get my foot in the door and start working in the field I'm pursuing a degree in and I took the state exam just yesterday. I passed! I have my next appt with T on Wednesday. I don't know how to walk in and tell her that I passed my exam, I'm ready to start back school, but I'm still thinking of suicide?