i think so, at least with me..i am the master of picking people that are not right for me..my T was getting on me about that, i tend to pick people that are emotionally unavailable or otherwise very difficult to be with ( case in point LD relationship).

like you said, you probably shouldn't be saying you love him unless you have been with him in the flesh..totally agree with you ( i have been guilty of this ,too). you haven't held his hand, or kissed him or made love to him.

you could only possibly be in love with the "idea" of what you think you are getting. people pretend to be all types of things online and you don't know what you got until you are with them in the flesh. IMHO "in the flesh" is so much better because there can be very little false pretenses, online is full of frauds,fakes,impostors and "catfishes" so to speak.

even if you do get past the photos(usually photoshopped and who knows what else! yikes!) and such (skype is a good way to do that)
you just don't know what you really have until you sit down at the table with them.

he is wise not to want to become emotionally involved until he can come see you..very smart. he only knows what you present, he has never been around you.

us BPD's tend to fall in love very quickly, so i can understand your disillusionment, i like to hear "i love you" asap..it re assures me and makes me feel better about myself and the "relationship" i am with with the person at that time. IMHO LD relationships are just a bad idea, you really need to be there with the person, especially for a BPD..that person isn't there in the flesh & they don't answer the phone right away... i don't have to say anymore!