See, we tend to create to ourselves a false image of people who couldn't care less for us, so we're constantly used. I'm 34 years old, my first girlfriend was using me to get back at an ex when I found out, my second was a long distance relationship, I could visit and stay with her a week per month in her house....until I've found out I was a spare, and the third is too traumatic to tell to you guys - I just don't wanna mention her.

And I deemed them as goddesses, as people I should do everything in my power to please them, but they just took advantage of my clinging, supportive and highly sycophantic demeanor towards them, with sex being the most important element. I would try simply to sum it up, to be someone worthy of their love....there was no love. And it angers me because I have a strong repulsion for causal sex, even masturbation...there must be a TRUE and LOVING human touch for me to become aroused. And I have to live bitterly knowing that I failed three times in 34 years...but not failed THEM. I've failed myself.