I'm losing it. I need help but there's so many reasons to just keep it to myself. I don't want to hurt everyone. I can't afford to have time off work, I don't want to go back to hospital. I don't want to lose my job from all the time off. I just have become obsessed with suicide. I have so many reasons not to, and I know it's selfish. I have a battle going on inside of me because sometimes I just don't want to live like this any more, then sometimes I look at my family and those I love and I feel so guilty for even thinking about it. If I make a spur of the moment decision I don't want to regret it but I have to keep it to myself. I'm just losing it, I just don't know what to do any more. I know I need help, maybe I should call someone. I don't know what I'd say though.