Hi Jay,
Are you seeing a pdoc and/or on medication?
Please reach out to someone about your feelings. There are many option to help you feel better. I know what you're feeling, I've been there many times.
With a proper support system, you will get through this. You already reached out, by posting your feelings here, please keep it going.
If you would like to chat, please PM me. I'd be happy to lend a supportive ear.