After my wife came home and went into the bedroom after work, after a few hours I went in to see why. Thats when she told me how i behaved the night before. I was sickened, disgusted and never so sad for her. So my desire to change is strong. Im not sure if im ready to say these things in public, especially in the city i live in. My plan for right now is hope that my being tired of living like this and immerse myself in this place and community. I know there are going to be times when Im really going to need this place and the people on it, I hope thats ok. I want to be well, I want to feel good about the things I do, and not live in guilt and self deprecation. Time is also a factor, I not only work full time but I go to college full time as well, so if i can avoid the meetings the better.