I guess I was fairly comfortable from the start in some ways. I never felt she was above me or better than me at all. I was also determined to show her open and positive body language, so I made sure to never cross my arms or hug myself or anything like that. I wanted to control her perceptions of me as best I could so I was always consciously aware of my body language.

I am someone who prefers sitting with my feet up and tucked under me in some way, so within a session or two I started taking my shoes off so I could tuck them up. I only did this when wearing socks; when in sandals and therefore bare feet, I kept my sandals on and suffered with my feet on the floor. I would think it rude to put my bare feet on her couch, but I did not think it rude to put my freshly showered feet encased in their freshly laundered socks, on her couch. It did bother me that removing my shoes and putting my feet up conveyed that I was comfortable because when I started doing it I wasn't ready to let her know that. Again, I was trying to control her perception of me.

Her throws and pillows always bothered me because I had no desire to touch things that a million other clients touched. Ew! So I always pushed those away or put them on the empty chair nearby. I had no problem moving her stuff. One time she was reading something I wrote and I got up and perused her bookshelf and took a book and began reading. When sitting I might casually fiddle with my scarf or my cup of coffee, but I made sure to do little of that because again I wanted to appear a certain way. If she had had a coffee table I'd have put my feet up on that when they started aching from being tucked up.

I think it all began simply with me being determined to show her I was cool about things; that I wasn't flustered or nervous or anxious. It was important to come off as casual and cool and collected, and sitting with open arms instead of crossed arms, and not hiding behind my coat or purse, and not sitting as a still as a statue but instead shifting position and putting my feet up all helped convey that. Not to mention that is my normal behavior in most circumstances.

Hazel, my advice to you is to simply DO IT. Force yourself. I doubt your T will object to anything you wish to do that is within reason. I wouldn't bring a real bear to session or your own comfy chair and ottoman or come attired in a robe and slippers, but she won't object to you putting your socked feet up or holding a pillow or bringing in a teddy bear at all! She wants you to be comfortable and able to open up after all! Good luck...for me it would be concern of how she was reading things, so that's why I began it all from the start. Since this will be new for you, perhaps you could email her and 'warn' her and say hey I'm bringing a teddy bear next week; I thought it might help me relax more. Or else just show up with it and say the same thing--I thought Bear might help me relax a bit more. Isn't he cute? So and So gave him to me for my birthday. Your bear could begin a dialogue if opening the sessions is hard for you.

Good luck.